Work has taken hold of me these last few months, that I have barely made any time to sit and think and write down a single word. I wonder if this is one of the ways which we lose love in our lives. I wonder if we lose love after we get caught up in something else, after we get caught up in the regularities and monotony of life.

I like to think that the mundane moments of life can be quite beautiful, engaging, and at odd times, even spectacular. I am sometimes moved by a pitcher's pouring of liquid into a glass, the simplicity of the action, the fall, the cascade, the splash, liquid's few moments of freedom in the transition from pitcher to glass, then the trap, encasement, as liquid forms into the shape of its container. This is what we are, constantly being passed off as one drink or the other, from pitcher to glass, from lip to lip, ravenous for the freedom of transition, that in between that suspends us in the air, in the moment. I'm laughing at myself as I write this. It is just like me, so characteristic of me, to find/create some deep meaning out of something so mundane and simple and ordinary as pouring oneself a glass of water. But lately, mostly because of my recent obsession with Harry Potter, I have allowed myself and my imagination to run free. And I fear it as much as I relish its vastness.

This image of liquid falling from pitcher to glass is really just about beginning and end, that the beginning is an end as much as an end is a beginning. Life really occurs in the area flanked by these two borders of life and death. I feel as though we only really have these few short moments "to live" and I look back at my life and am angry at the time I've wasted. I could have done, been doing, so much more. There were so many wasted opportunities that I failed to recognize and failed to seize, all because of inhibition, of fear, and angst.

I realize now that all of that is going to be a constant in my life. Courage, boldness, gumption... these things will not be constant factors unless we seize them ourselves.

I'm ready. I'm finally free of H. I'm over this whole D nonsense which was more trouble than it's worth. I've moved on, realized that I love who I am and don't need to prove to anyone how simply amazing I can sometimes be. I'm going to be bold and see where life takes me.

First journey is this whole ordeal with a cute Sushi chef at East. He makes my heart melt, the way he makes Salmon sushi with three beautiful strokes. A master of technique. And so, so incredibly humble. I love that.

I think I'm just looking for some innocence in my life, which H and D really failed to provide. I want something genuine, and quiet, and just soft. And circumstances dictate that this fling may end in a few weeks, but at least I lived in the moment. I won't have to look back and regret that I didn't act, didn't seize the moment. He really has the sweetest smile in the world.